Humility in Learning

"For when I studied the Scriptures then I did not feel as I am writing about them now. They seemed to me unworthy of comparison with the grand style of Cicero. For my pride shrank from their modesty, and my sharp eye was not penetrating enough to see into their depths. Yet these Scriptures would grow up together with a little child; I, however, throught too highly of myself to become a little child; swollen with pride, I was, in my own eyes, a grown-up."

It is wonderful to hear Augustine's love for the Scripture, and relieving (in some ways) to hear his own personal story of his journey toward love of God and His Word. Augustine's autobiography in this passage is so comforting to me, and so cutting in its honesty.

My own journey in life began with Christian parents. They gave me a Christian framework with which to view the world, for which I am forever grateful. But when I left home, I began to question the beliefs that I had been raised with. I started questioning God, the validity of the Bible, and Christianity (ie Christians) especially. This was a difficult time - a time when I questioned everything and felt very unstable.

This time of questioning eventually resulted in the firm convictions I hold now. But much like Augustine, I had to accept the glorious mystery of the Bible before I could enjoy it. The Bible is a vast work, and people who have devoted their lives to studying it still don't know all the mysteries it holds. For a long time I think I missed out on the joy of reading the Bible because I failed to see its depth. I read the stories of Christ unmoved and confused. I didn't take the time to really study the text and meditate on it, probably because I wasn't able to see how deep its pages could really go. I needed God to open my heart and show me what He wanted me to be shown.

Once I began to really READ the Bible, reflect on it, and study it, then my relationship with God became much more vibrant and real.

I think the key to the passage I quoted at the beginning of this blog is humility. Augustine first approached the Bible with a proud and arrogant sense of his own intellect. He took a purely intellectual approach to the Bible, and could not see the depth of that great book. We hinder our learning when we approach texts with pompous, pre-formed opinions about the greatness (or emptiness) of a text.

To use an example from outside of the Scripture, let me describe my experience with reading Hemingway. I tried to read "The Sun Also Rises" three times before I actually made it through. Everyone always told me that Hemingway is such a great author and blah, blah, blah. But I found his writing bland, and I left the book disappointed. But when I took a class where we read the book again, the teacher talked about passages that I had skipped over because of their seeming simplicity. When we discussed all the things that we were being hinted at between the lines, when we noticed how careful the word choices and selections were, when we found the beauty in those "simple" passages, then I began to realize the depth that can be found in a Hemingway book.

We shouldn't approach any text by limiting its possibilities. The beauty of literature (and the Bible especially) is that we can read it over and over and keep coming to new discoveries and conclusions. And the more conclusions we come to, the more questions we come to as well. And that's what's so great about approaching books with a little intellectual humility.